so it has been awhile since i've checked in here at 7. i have eaten 10 foods, worn 9 items, and given away more than i care to count. but then i kind of got stuck. the next month was media. the one i wasn't too excited about giving up. plus the olympics were just around the corner and my partner in this crazy idea was going on vacation where it is way to easy to unplug so i let it sit.
the other day i was sitting in the bathroom taking paint off my toes. i get my best thinking done in that little room of our house. usually, people ignore me in there! anyways. i was kind of lamenting a few things. pair that with our pastor making a suggestion in staff meeting that we make a list of our ideal week as a family and attempt to live it out. hmm...why do things seem so difficult?
i'd been pondering the media fast. God kinda told me that when i get stressed that is where i tend to hide out - in media world. other people's blogs, pinterest, facebook. that is really all i look at online. i'm not a shopper, but i endlessly search blogs and pinterest to escape the reality of stress around me. God let me know that wasn't His way of coping and prodded me to get started on the dreaded media fast.
you know...2012 has been a year of physical healing and some emotional/spiritual as well. it has been oh so good! God has blessed beyond measure, but the past month i haven't noticed it as much. in fact, some of that physical healing has reversed. i was letting God know that i was mad about a friend of mine having to walk a difficult road. i was mad about some stress. and well, He already knows so i might as well tell Him all about it.
in that telling Him all about it, He gently let me know i had gotten lost in the maze. it reminded me of a labyrinth - you know where you feel like you are going in unending circles. i'm out there wandering and wandering desperate to get to the inner circle or just out of the maze.
i started to realize that when i focus so intently on God the maze seems fun. it draws me in. i may not know the path but i can't help but explore it. when i started this crazy 7 journey i thought i would fail the first month. instead i embraced it and saw God move some major mountains in my life. i was sick the first week i ate normal again. i missed those 10 foods with a passion. i think i missed the simplicity of it all. the dependence on God that i had developed to satisfy my chocolate craving. when i wore the same 9 clothes i learned people care more about who i am than what i wear. it again was simple. what shirt is still clean and do i want to wear the gray skirt or blue jeans? again, i loved it and God moved mountains in my life. giving away items seemed less dramatic. it just was. i went through some closets and rooms. there is still so much to give away. but i can't say that i saw God move mountains with that one. then i put off the next month. because of fear honestly. wouldn't people miss my status updates? i mean, seriously you all care about my 36 words or less don't you?
all that to say....God definitely revealed that i had gotten off course. He used the food month to show me that i was an emotional eater and that didn't benefit my health. sugar has negative effects on me. big time. He used the clothes month to show me that i don't need the stuff i think i do. that being in style is not the most important. work on my insides the most. giving stuff away - i was disappointed in the lack of lesson. by then i'd eaten a bit more sugar anyways. haven't had a sweet potato in like 2 months (although i don't use my oven all summer long so that might have something to do with it!). i also found myself standing for 5 minutes staring into my closet. which was now empty because i gave it all away wondering why i had given it away because i suddenly had nothing to wear again!
in the midst of this conversation still playing in my head i noticed how quickly satan can steer us off course. he can whisper those things in our ear that turn us down a dead end path. when we get to that dead end the most likely thing would be to turn back around, but well, that seems too easy. so instead i try to move forward over and over and over and end up nowhere.
i'd gotten off track with eating and suffer the consequences of weight gain and the return of crazy dizziness. i'd gotten off track with getting dressed and find myself starting my day with stress, frustration, and disappointment. as you can imagine this isn't the course that God intended. He intends for me to ask for my daily bread. He intends for me to spend more time dressing spiritually than staring into an open closet.
so i know that discipline is what i need. and accountability. so the media fast is on. i can't give it all up because i do use it a lot to work. but here is my plan....i will not take the laptop home unless i plan to work at home one day. the computer will not be turned on after 3pm when i have my kids. sorry folks. i will only be on facebook to update blessings in a backpack. i plan to text only what is necessary. i will have email, but don't expect response until the next morning if you send it after 5. hubby and i plan to turn the tv off more evenings. as far as blogs.....yep, won't be checking those out with the exception of one (i'll give a sweet potato to the first person to guess which blog that is!) i plan to print off pinterest recipe and craft ideas so that i can stay away and maybe find the time to do some of those projects i've pinned! oh...i'm also back to avoiding sugar as much as possible and eating real foods. and clothes...trying not to care again!
i might update here once a week. but today as i'm dealing with intense dizziness for the first time since december i'm feeling God giving me the big shove into this madness! so here i go....i will see you when God leads me out of this maze!
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